Posts in For Shits 'N Giggles
Goop's Recommendations for Dying Your Best Death

“'Lifestyle' is really only one part of all of this, you know?” our founder Gwyneth Paltrow has been known to posit, gesturing widely with her arm on the days when she can summon the strength to lift it. “It’s important that you also do everything you can do to honor and beautify your deathstyle.”

1) The Products

Invigorated by Gwyneth’s new and delightfully morbid focus on our certain mortality, Goop now offers a line of artisanal nooses, as well as bespoke burying smocks. Made from fairly sourced materials and blessed by someone who is not religious but spiritual, these items are priced starting at everything you’d have left should you kick it today.

2) The Look

Our beauty editor Rachel Kirkpatrick offers the following: “No one really thinks enough about the makeup you’re buried with. You’re buried ‘in'? Anyway, an open casket is your last chance to make others feel less than.” She suggests a combination of high density pigmented concealer to cover any unsightly evidence of your demise and a sheer highlighter to showcase your sunken cheekbones and emphasize that fleeting, recently-alive glow.

3) The Method

And for those looking for guidance as to the best method, we have you covered. We asked our Goop readers for their favorite ways to die and if we were capable of feeling genuine enthusiasm we would be so excited to share them with you.

The number one way to go? Dying of happiness, in one's beauty sleep (happiness, incidentally, is also available for purchase on our Goop online marketplace.) Runners up include experimental skin injections, conscious uncoupling with modern medicine, and self-inflicted blunt trauma due to having caved in the face of a grocery store scone.

According to Paltrow, "Goop feels that it's important for our community to know that death is just another beautiful opportunity to do something incorrectly."